9 Reasons Not to Buy an iPhone 5

Reason #10- The iPhone 5 does not have a ‘Drink’ button that, when pressed, makes an instant but highly detailed examination of the subject’s taste buds, a spectroscopic analysis of the subject’s metabolism, sending tiny experimental signals down the neural pathways to the taste centres of the subject’s brain to see what is likely to be well received, invariably delivering a cupful of liquid that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.